Fear, Feedback & Finding Your Fire

What if fear isn’t here to scare you—but to fuel your next career move?

Welcome to the very first newsletter from The Own Your BS Show.

If we looked confident in these visuals, that’s cute—because Karolina and I were sweating buckets behind the scenes.

New mics, new cameras, new tech gremlins. But also? New courage. New truth. New voice.

Two women. One mission: To unpack the B.S. we carry—fear, imposter syndrome, perfectionism—and turn it into something bold, real, and actually useful.

She’s Karolina Gwinner: Leadership speaker, Neuroscience geek, Energizer dancing queen. I’m Cindy Tien: EQ Maven, Titanium Hipster, former pivot-table-panicker turned speaker.

And in Episode 1, we tackled these head on: Fear, Feedback & Finding Your Fire

Fear at work. Let’s not pretend it’s not real.

We don’t talk about it in the office, but it’s everywhere.

• That stomach drop before speaking in a meeting.

• The awkward smile at chi chi networking events.

• The please-don’t-give-me-feedback panic because it scares the crap out of us.

• The mental gymnastics of acting confident when your insides are screaming otherwise.

You’re not alone.

Karolina and I have both been there—Me, in a Monday morning meltdown over PowerPoint slides and pivot tables. Her, memorising entire presentations out of fear of messing up her English.

I still remember one particular Sunday night. I had a client review the next morning. My PowerPoint was glitchy, the Excel pivot table wouldn’t pivot, and my brain was pure mush. I was spiralling.

So I did what any overwhelmed, secretly-dyslexic, high-anxiety client manager would do: I reached for a CD sermon.

Yep. A Joyce Meyer one. And she said something that snapped me out of my panic spiral. 

Do it afraid.

That hit me. I didn’t need to wait to feel fearless. I just needed to move.

Tip 1: Stop waiting for confidence. Do it scared.

Confidence doesn’t always show up before the moment. It shows up because you showed up.

You don’t become confident, then take the mic. You take the mic, fumble through it, survive—And that’s how confidence grows.

Confidence is not the starting point; it’s the byproduct. It’s not the appetizer; it’s the dessert – you get it at the end of the meal.

Focus on bite-sized nibbles of bravery. You don’t need the whole map—just the next step.

Small acts. Micro courage. Because messy action beats motionless perfection—every time.

Tip 2: Dance with it.

When Karolina hit a low point in her life—burnt out from always needing to fight, hustle, and “be strong”—something unexpected found her.

A dance class.

Not the polished kind. Not ballroom. Not Instagram-perfect.Just music. Movement. Freedom.

That moment changed her.

Because in dance, she didn’t need to be perfect. She just had to show up, feel the rhythm, and move with it—even if she missed a beat.

And isn’t that what life is?

You take a misstep, you laugh, you stumble forward.

Dancing teaches you that missteps aren’t fatal. They’re part of the flow.

So here’s the question: what’s your version of dancing?

Maybe it’s painting. Maybe it’s hiking. Maybe it’s screaming into your steering wheel to ‘Eye of the Tiger.’ Whatever helps you get out of your head and back into your body—that’s your version of dancing.

You don’t have to perform. You just have to participate.

Tip 3: Ask your fear—what is it trying to tell you?

Fear isn’t always here to wreck your life. Sometimes it’s just here to whisper, "This matters to you."

Mine used to scream: “Don’t mess this up.” “Say something smart.” “Don’t look like an idiot.”

But instead of “Why am I so scared?”Try: “What is this fear trying to tell me?”

What if fear is trying to protect you…Highlight something important…Or invite you into a stretch zone you’ve outgrown avoiding?

Karolina said something that stuck with me: The scarier something feels, the more we probably care.

You’re not scared because you’re weak. You’re scared because it matters.

Tip 4: You don’t need to roar to lead.

Let’s kill the myth that real leaders need to be loud, commanding, or have everything perfectly figured out.

Some of the best leaders aren’t the most outspoken in the room. They don’t bulldoze conversations or rely on big titles. They lead through clarity, presence, and knowing how to bring out the best in others.

We’ve both seen what happens when someone gets promoted and suddenly panics: “I’m only 28.”“My team is older than me.” “What if they realise I have no idea what I’m doing?”

Here’s the truth: most people are too busy doubting themselves to be doubting you.

You don’t need to roar or shrink. You just need to show up real.

There’s no one way to lead—only your way, done with intention.

Tip 5: Speak up for others.

Sometimes the best way to find your voice…is to use it for someone else first.

There was a time I wouldn’t speak up for myself. But if someone disrespected a teammate, I’d step in fast.

That moment gave me courage. It showed me my voice had impact.

Over time, that voice turned inward. And then outward again—on bigger stages.

If you can’t speak up for yourself yet, speak up for someone who can’t. 

You don’t have to wait until you’re confident to speak. Sometimes you just need to care enough about something… or someone… to start.

Tip 6: Not all feedback is created equal.

In her early days as a speaker, Karolina often poured her heart into a session—only to be hit with comments like:

“Your voice is too low.” “Your English isn’t native enough.” “You should smile more.”

And these gems didn’t even come from the audience. They came from the organiser.

That’s when she realised: not all feedback is actually useful. Some of it is just projection, bias, or insecurity—dressed up as “help.”

So she learned to filter it.

Ask yourself: Is it specific? Is it actionable? Is it coming from someone whose opinion you respect?

If not, thank it politely—and move along.

Feedback without a solution is a critique, not a conversation.

You’re not here to crowdsource your worth. You’re here to grow with intention—and that includes choosing which voices get a seat at your table.

We’re just getting started.

These six tips barely scratch the surface of what we unpacked.

We laughed, we sweated, we may have snorted. There were boogers. There was truth.

But more than anything—there was freedom.

Thank you Karolina for being my first co-host in our OYBS show, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

🎥 Catch the full episode of Episode 1: How to Turn Fear into Fire for Your Career

👉 https://youtu.be/ui0CTePYc6Y?si=FDaTPqyoI5oGabUE

This is Cindy Tien, EQ Maven, CSP - Empowering teams to Break through Blind Spots & Turn Hurdles into Hallmarks.

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