The Realities of Writing a Book (and the truth about yourself)

Did you know that 81% people who say they want to write a book.. never start?

In this episode of The Own Your BS Show, I sat down with my friend and powerhouse speaker, Dr Maxine Teo, PhD — a multilingual performance coach, global trainer, and author of not one, but three books.

Fun fact: J.K. Rowling first wrote Harry Potter ideas on a napkin while on a delayed train.

Yet most of us can’t even reply to an email without “needing to be in the right headspace.”

In this conversation, we talked about the messy middle of writing — the procrastination, the fear, the pressure, and those unexpected emotional breakthroughs that happen when you finally put words to your story.

Here are 10 spicy, soul-stretching tips for anyone who’s ever said, “I’ll start writing when I have more time.”

Tip 1: The Perfect time can be in the Present (Or something you plan for).

We often wait for the “perfect time” to start — but that time doesn’t exist. Maxine spent 15 years thinking about her book until she finally decided to make her son’s birthday her deadline.

✅ Choose a meaningful date and make it non-negotiable.

Deadlines create discipline.

Tip 2: Tell the world you’re writing a book.

Accountability changes the game. Once Maxine told her mom, publisher, and followers, backing out wasn’t an option.

✅ Make your goal public. Fear of embarrassment can keep you honest.

Pressure can be healthy when it keeps you moving.

Tip 3: Confidence doesn’t show up first — it shows up after you start.

We both over-edited like our laptops were judging us.

✅ Stop rewriting the first chapter and start trusting your voice.

Perfection is just procrastination in high heels.

Tip 4: Choose a topic you can’t shut up about.

Writer’s block is often just disinterest in disguise.

✅ Write what you know, love, or can’t stop thinking about. For Maxine, it was emotional literacy. For me, it was breaking though your BS.

The Heart wants what it wants

Tip 5: Enjoy the process, not just the product.

Maxine makes writing fun — by changing her environment, interviewing people, and turning research into conversations. I did so by bringing in my fur-kiddos into my work room.

✅ If writing feels like a chore, change your method. Go somewhere new. Talk to real people.

When your environment inspires you, your writing will too.

Tip 6: Emotions aren’t distractions but data.

Maxine calls it emotional literacy. I call it emotional constipation when you ignore it.

✅ Don’t numb what you feel while creating — use it.

Every great book bleeds before it breathes.

Tip 7: Put some skin in the game.

She paid her publisher upfront. That financial commitment made quitting painful.

✅ Invest — money, time, or public promises — so you have something to lose.

When you bet on yourself, you play differently.

Tip 8: Write in your rhythm, not someone else’s.

Maxine writes between midnight and 3 a.m. — her quiet zone where no one interrupts.

✅ Don’t fight your body clock. Create when you feel most alive, not when the world says you should.

Consistency matters more than convention.

Tip 9: You can’t leave your emotions at the door.

Whether in leadership or writing, emotions drive every decision.

✅ Learn your emotional centre — head (overthinking), heart (connection), or gut (intuition).

Self-awareness is the foundation of influence.

Tip 9: Every page you write reveals the person you’re becoming.

I thought I was writing a book. Turns out, I was writing a mirror.

✅ Pay attention to what the process is showing you about your patterns.

You can write yourself out of your old self.

Tip 10: Just start with what you have.

Waiting to be ‘ready’ is another disguise for fear.

✅ Write the messy first draft. The wisdom you have now is enough.

Perfection is the enemy of progress — and definitely publishing.

The Wrap

Writing isn’t just about the book. It’s about the person you become while writing it.

If you’ve been sitting on your story for months — or years — maybe this is your reminder. You don’t need the perfect title, topic, or timing. You just need a reason that matters.

Now go make some noise on that blank page.

🎥 Watch the full episode of The Own Your BS Show with Dr. Maxine Teo here - https://youtu.be/tuqc16YU2Y0?si=jEb74F7At552IDZQ

#OwnYourBS #WritingJourney #EmotionalResilience #Leadership

This is Cindy Tien, EQ Maven, CSP - Empowering teams to Break through Blind Spots & Turn Hurdles into Hallmarks.

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